Floodgates

Thinking about this drought that Texas is going through and all the widlfires, I suddenly felt like it was directly correlated to my heart. Like, I felt like I was going through the same thing Texas is going through right now. I know that's kind of hard to understand, but hopefully this song/poem thing will clarify things :) --

My soul craves water, to quench the thirst and fertilize my heart
To put out the fires running rampid, on deadened parts
I feel like my whole heart is dying
I feel like my whole heart is dying
My soul needs some rain, it's barren and grave
It's always reminding me ambivalence is pain
My heart gapes for Your rain
My heart cries for Your rain
Send healing rain straight my way
Pounding upon the hard surfaces of strain
And washing away the callouses of pain
Put out these emotionless fires that constantly drain
They drain me from You, Lord
They drain me from You, Lord
Tell me why I feel so broken inside
From the bond I share with thee, Saviour,
My life feels like a lie
Without the floodgates pouring
Declaring Your name
And this land, hence my soul, is so barren and wasted
Reminds me of a flower declined of it's life wish
I'm just beggin for rain, God
Askin' for rain, God
So break the floodgates down
Revive my soul
Put out these flames
That eat away my goal
All I want is to serve You,
All I want is to serve You
I can't serve You, God, when I can't feel You near
And trials are better
It's the nothing I fear
I'd rather take bad times with You by my side
Then nothing at all with You gone from my life
I feel no conflict, no peace
I feel no stress, yet no ease
And it constantly worries me
Am I drifting from the Love that so steadily anchored me?
Yea, and I talk about the water that You send
To this barren, rejected, and dry wasteland
I call it my soul, but it's got to go
Cuz without You, it's just a desert with no hope
So break the floodgates down
Revive my soul
Put out these flames
That eat away my goal
All I want is to serve You,
All I want is to serve You
When I asked You before, You brought sunshine, then rain
And it rained for a year without me hearin' Your Name
And my soul was flooded, earthly possesions were torn away
And left a clean slate for You to write Your Name
Yea, I know it was painful at the time
And every time I let go of a memory I cried
But if that's what it takes for this soul to hear Your Name
And to feel the cleansing sunshine that peeks out from the rain stained leaves
Lord, I know you got much better things to do
But I don't doubt omnipotence so I know You still her me too
I'm beggin You, God, to send the rain that puts out all fires
And help me know that Your love is all I'll ever desire
God, I don't know how much longer I can go without
But You know timing best, I'm trusting You with my soul's shout
And I know in due time, You'll reward my constant knocking, God
So I better prepare my barren fields for rain
Cuz soon enough, You'll be
Breaking those floodgates down
Reviving my soul
Putting out those flames
That are eating my goal away
And I will live to serve You
I will live to serve You